Three Point One Four

My last girlfriend didn’t like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn’t excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn’t that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she’s a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I’m not the smartest peanut in the turd
I’m white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I’m looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it’s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em’ easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat